Have you ever felt like..not knowing what to do. Which decision to make and when you should! Well i'm now totally confused and blurring, not just my brain but my eye as well. Striking headaches and anger outbursts - not being able to express my self properly.
I went to see the doctors today, explain what i was going through - no one understanding me, people undermining me, making use of me, not following my instructions, expecting too much of me, accusing me of not doing anywork, accusing me of being lazy when in fact i do almost 7 days a week.....blah blah blah. Just didnt know who to talk too....my heart is beating so fast...that it makes me nervous when thinking about it. i feel like i may be having some sort of PANIC attack...but restrained my self to such over dramatism!
So now i have to talk to a councillor and start approaching in a different way. Tommrow is Diwali....have to start a new resolution. Lets see what's in store for me!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Continuing....
Maybe im dramatizing a bit too much actually. My striking migranes....sore throats....lack of appetites, lazyness, tiredness.....nah can't be. Im just over reacting!!
I left on the 9th of Oct to Queensland for a break. Only 6 days actually, but it's better than nothing. Im not exactly relaxing...but it's ok. Done some shopping, my sisters are here though. They're studying...busy busy!. So Im just lazying around as usuall! But my main brainteaser has come.....should i pursue my studies further or not. MBA?? Seems too high for me. I always visualised that MBA would be for the rich and snobs! I cant imagine doing it.
Dont know what to do, will have to move back to QLD and start again. I guess it's better. Im not enjoying my work, tension with my parents, disliking my staff.....i think i have all the qualifications to leave and start something new....... hmmmm. Still need more thoughts on this. Need to think it through. Maybe this degree can give me another dimension to where i want to be.....or WHAT i want to be.?? Dont know.
I left on the 9th of Oct to Queensland for a break. Only 6 days actually, but it's better than nothing. Im not exactly relaxing...but it's ok. Done some shopping, my sisters are here though. They're studying...busy busy!. So Im just lazying around as usuall! But my main brainteaser has come.....should i pursue my studies further or not. MBA?? Seems too high for me. I always visualised that MBA would be for the rich and snobs! I cant imagine doing it.
Dont know what to do, will have to move back to QLD and start again. I guess it's better. Im not enjoying my work, tension with my parents, disliking my staff.....i think i have all the qualifications to leave and start something new....... hmmmm. Still need more thoughts on this. Need to think it through. Maybe this degree can give me another dimension to where i want to be.....or WHAT i want to be.?? Dont know.
My First Blog after.......6 years!!
Hey People, How are you all?
Obviously as the heading says "my first blog after 6 years", well not exactly. Not sure how long it has been but it sounds like 6 years. Enjoyed writing them then; later fell in a moment called "buzy-ness". So i thought i would entertain you all with some interesting moments that are happening in my life for the last year or so. Dont worry, will make it short. ;)
Could not be bother to enter a blog or write a diary, however i did draw. Love drawing. Takes my stress and AKWARD moments to a new level. Sometimes I don't realise what i am drawing, sometimes i do. I keep them....then throw them away. Takes too much space in my room. Wouldn't be suprised when my mum's going to enter and do her major cleaning frenzy thingi!!
Yes i live with my parents. You know working in a family business and all..., But everything comes with a price. Of course - Intrusion!! Hmmm. As i mentioned before, my mum entering my room.....well yes. My bills, certificates etc.. packed away in a carton box stored someplace where i may never intend to find unless it's urgently necessary. My mum needs everything to be tidy and neat, i guess all mums are like that. But im not a clean freak, i can stay with out doing the dishes for 1 day. I can live in my room with my table messy and my clothes in a corner, I can still find my way through all this mess. This is my room and i permit it to be that way. Really? Nope. As long as you live with your parents, your room has to be the way they want it. Yes.
I finished my degree in IT in 2005...about 4 years ago. Enjoyed my time in uni, with friends and all....after that did some work exp and later joined the family business. It was fun in the beginning, with a lot of bitter moments. Staff betraying you...again and again. Yes i was quite stupid actually. Im not exactly the person who would go and argue about anything, keeping quiet was my MOTO!! How silly was I!
I realised this 2.5 years later. As each staff started to betray and play around at the work place and leave, putting the blame on me - I became numb! I had no feelings to people leaving anymore. I would cry and feel bad initially...im a picean you know!! Well not anymore now. I got accustomed to it! it was hilarious....day after day it became like " Bold and the Beautiful" drama. Each day had something new. It's now almost 4 years and not as much backstabbing...though there are one or two. But the dramas still heading the list. Somehow i find my self always tangle between the stories. I may not be there, or i may be there and not involved....but my name will be mention somewhere in the "blame game" conversation.
It's quite an honour actually...i get so much attention that a problem does not get resolved without my name being mentioned it in. Yes, it's quite interesting. I have a follow up to this drama, one of my staff (staff D) is actually ignoring me. Yes ignoring, i mean I'm her boss, i do her rosters...but she refuses to say a hi or talk to me. Come on! The least you could do is say a hi, im not asking for a hi maintenance conversation. It's been like this for 4 months or more. I have left this situation to my parents as it's me that she has a problem with. I confronted her and asked her if everything was ok blah blah blah, and she said it's fine. So i tried breaking the ice....but to no avail, it's back to square one!!
You know some things are best to be left alone, but the situation with Staff D is not going well at all. To tell you the truth, i dislike her very much. We are doing alot of renovations with our building and all, so theres stress flying every where and Staff D situation is an icing on the top. I think if i had anymore of this, i would have a major stroke at 25 or some depression or.....panic attack actually.
Obviously as the heading says "my first blog after 6 years", well not exactly. Not sure how long it has been but it sounds like 6 years. Enjoyed writing them then; later fell in a moment called "buzy-ness". So i thought i would entertain you all with some interesting moments that are happening in my life for the last year or so. Dont worry, will make it short. ;)
Could not be bother to enter a blog or write a diary, however i did draw. Love drawing. Takes my stress and AKWARD moments to a new level. Sometimes I don't realise what i am drawing, sometimes i do. I keep them....then throw them away. Takes too much space in my room. Wouldn't be suprised when my mum's going to enter and do her major cleaning frenzy thingi!!
Yes i live with my parents. You know working in a family business and all..., But everything comes with a price. Of course - Intrusion!! Hmmm. As i mentioned before, my mum entering my room.....well yes. My bills, certificates etc.. packed away in a carton box stored someplace where i may never intend to find unless it's urgently necessary. My mum needs everything to be tidy and neat, i guess all mums are like that. But im not a clean freak, i can stay with out doing the dishes for 1 day. I can live in my room with my table messy and my clothes in a corner, I can still find my way through all this mess. This is my room and i permit it to be that way. Really? Nope. As long as you live with your parents, your room has to be the way they want it. Yes.
I finished my degree in IT in 2005...about 4 years ago. Enjoyed my time in uni, with friends and all....after that did some work exp and later joined the family business. It was fun in the beginning, with a lot of bitter moments. Staff betraying you...again and again. Yes i was quite stupid actually. Im not exactly the person who would go and argue about anything, keeping quiet was my MOTO!! How silly was I!
I realised this 2.5 years later. As each staff started to betray and play around at the work place and leave, putting the blame on me - I became numb! I had no feelings to people leaving anymore. I would cry and feel bad initially...im a picean you know!! Well not anymore now. I got accustomed to it! it was hilarious....day after day it became like " Bold and the Beautiful" drama. Each day had something new. It's now almost 4 years and not as much backstabbing...though there are one or two. But the dramas still heading the list. Somehow i find my self always tangle between the stories. I may not be there, or i may be there and not involved....but my name will be mention somewhere in the "blame game" conversation.
It's quite an honour actually...i get so much attention that a problem does not get resolved without my name being mentioned it in. Yes, it's quite interesting. I have a follow up to this drama, one of my staff (staff D) is actually ignoring me. Yes ignoring, i mean I'm her boss, i do her rosters...but she refuses to say a hi or talk to me. Come on! The least you could do is say a hi, im not asking for a hi maintenance conversation. It's been like this for 4 months or more. I have left this situation to my parents as it's me that she has a problem with. I confronted her and asked her if everything was ok blah blah blah, and she said it's fine. So i tried breaking the ice....but to no avail, it's back to square one!!
You know some things are best to be left alone, but the situation with Staff D is not going well at all. To tell you the truth, i dislike her very much. We are doing alot of renovations with our building and all, so theres stress flying every where and Staff D situation is an icing on the top. I think if i had anymore of this, i would have a major stroke at 25 or some depression or.....panic attack actually.
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